12 de Noviembre 2003

" Am I being tested? In more ways than one.... "

I got my new car....car numero 4, is it? I did ASK for it afterall. I like it, still loving coupes no need for 4 doors...yet!! But am I still slightly apprehensive about driving, especially in the rain? Vestiges of what has happened....but I am excited about testing the limits, learning what my ride can do!!

I keep getting called up...having to step up to the plate, demonstrate. No longer able to languish in the shadows undisturbed, ready to cause rebellion, be the comic relief, simply be the listener. Why has it taken this long I ask? What is really expected of me? Why do I care? I plug on....

This intrigue has consumed me...declarations of a future intertwined. I asked for this, too, didn't I? I can have it....so where do my questions come from? Is it a desire to not repeat the past? Is it reaffirming and clarifiying what the future holds?

I can't keep putting things off. But am I putting things off so much as trying to handle too much? A reprieve, yea that is what I want....some time OFF for a change. Yep, fall has tested me....I am winding down and making sure to capture the lessons.

~More to Come~